I sit there, plagued all day by a state that I know all too well and from which I am ALWAYS trying to escape. It appears as destructiveness, as judgment, as dissatisfaction and somehow also as paralysis. Honestly, I hate it when it’s there. But also honestly: there’s just so much of it.

And yes – I am doing my job. I meet my inner children, I unload my emotions, I do trauma work, you really can’t say that I don’t take responsibility for it. But something is there, it’s sitting there… and today (after I don’t know how many conversations with my colleague) it suddenly “clicks”. And I look at things with different eyes.

*

I look at it anew. Respect it in its appearance. No longer see it as a problem, no longer as a structure to be overcome, no longer judgmental. I look at it and open the space wide and ask sincerely:

Who are you?

» I AM THE HOPELESSNESS OF HUMANITY. «

It got me, that’s the start. We are in contact and a completely different space opens up than the one I have known so far. I listen. And this hopelessness tells me, shows me, makes me feel how big it is. How great the hopelessness is on this planet in the hearts of so many people. A feeling of “we can do whatever we want – but we’re going to drive this thing into the wall”. And a feeling of “we’re doing a lot, but we’re not doing what actually needs to be done”. That’s great, that’s big, and it’s devastatingly real.

Personally, I am cautious about the vehemence that I perceive in this energy. I’m not one for activism and banging on the table and “now we have to do something”… But here I’m touched by the authenticity in which this hopelessness and urgency is present. And… in the urgency, you can feel that it hasn’t given up yet. I keep asking:

What do you want?

» PEACE. I want this fight and this cramp to finally stop, in which we are all destroying ourselves and destroying the world. It makes me sick. «

Why do you appear as hopelessness?

» Because something just can’t go on like this. Something is fundamentally broken here and I want THAT TO BE SEEN! Somehow there are so many people who are just doint something for the long term, but who is going to get to the core of it? «

What do you think the problem is?

» It’s down to people’s inner indecision! I know you don’t like the energy of reproach, but that’s the way it is! Most people don’t get to the bottom of their determination to change. Or they don’t even know that it could go deeper. And I don’t blame them, because they really are doing their best, but it’s still so far away from what it could be. «

What do you see that is missing? What could help them?

» DIVINE INTIMACY «

Bam… there it is. These words touch me to the core. Something clicks. And I feel… that this is no longer a reproach, but really comes from the source. It’s true. What we are missing is,

THAT THE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SACRED OF LIFE
IS AT THE CENTER OF OUR HUMANITY.

We lack the self-understanding to become very, very, very, very intimate with life, with ourselves, with our soul, with God, with nature, and ultimately also truly and authentically with each other.

And on top of that, we need to put this at the CENTER of our lives! That intimacy, the relationship with our innermost being, is no longer a hobby that we cultivate in our free time and hold back at work. What is missing is that we really allow our lives the quality of the HOLY. Creating sacred spaces. Living sacredly in relationship. Developing holy sexuality. Experiencing holy work. And that it is NORMAL to take care of it, and to do it FREELY. Not institutionalized or canalized, as it has been attempted so far and has only contributed to all the cramp. What is missing is that people EXPERIENCE THEMSELVES AS SACRED BEINGS.

*

I am deeply touched by the fact that these words and this energy appear. I want this threshold from reproach to to open up to real, authentic eyes. I feel it as HOLY ANGER. An energy that wants to make a difference and has a clear purpose – but not out of a selfish motivation, but simply because it WANTS TO KNOW THE TRUTH AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

And so I let it do that, I let ME do that. Let this side speak and show itself through me and stand by it. Let it show me – once again (!) – that things can turn out very differently than we think and that it is always worth really listening. Especially the things that we actually want to get rid of, the things that we are trying to fix but which then just ARE THERE over and over again. Until we listen.

And I think this voice is absolutely right. I can feel my heart burning inside me, loving these words: DIVINE INTIMACY. Somehow it contains everything that is close to my heart. It contains deep contact with the self, with the divine. It contains sacred sexuality, which is such an important space for me. It contains sacred spaces that we carry inside and that I would love to build on the outside. There are sacred relationships in there that I experience as the core of change – between the people who either accompany each other deeply and authentically in a powerful way or trigger each other in a blatant way… the people with whom we experience the greatest change. And there is sacred work in it, which I long for so much… for people to get out of the yoke of “gainful employment”, which brings no joy to most – and for us to experience again that people do, contribute, work what springs from their soul, their joy, their desire.

I am here for all of this. Give my life. Live my giving. I go my way and am deeply grateful that all of this shows up in me, for every person I walk with, for the life that this wonderful orchestra plays.

And in it sits a Karin who has made friends with a side that has really plagued her for many, many years and feels what humanity feels like with divine intimacy at the center of life.

I like.

And you?

Much love
Karin