THE FALL IN LOVE

06.08.2023
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THE FALL IN LOVE

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Note for people interested in the Genekeys according to Richard Rudd:
The energies and movements in this text resonate strongly with Genekey #13

There is a very particular emotional cocktail inside of me. Something comes to the surface, a certain quality that I would rather avoid. It no longer comes with its tearing fangs, it comes with quiet discomfort, with quiet pain.

I sit down with it. With my heart. I look at it, feel it, I am with it.

I see her sitting there, tired and alone. Simply not knowing if she will manage to set herself up well someday, to have vibrant relationships, to live well. She is so tired of worrying about it. And she waits for something to change, has no momentum herself to do anything. I can see how this lowers her energy level, drags her down. Hopelessness, despondency.

I am with her. She is with me, crying. Heavy and sluggish.
This is the one who sought so much shelter with those who seemed strong when she was in such deep agony. In her mind… “I’m so desperate because the world is so different from what I need. And I just don’t know where I can finally find that!”

I feel in her an immense intensity of NO to all that is.
And in the same way I feel a potential slumbering in it – to an equally intense YES.

She knows this, but in her attempts to bring this yes into the world, she ultimately always failed due to the world. In her, a great jumble of ideas, possibilities, conceptions and experiences of failure. And I just sit with her and listen from the heart.

She has given up trying to change the world and people, it makes no sense and brings nothing – that’s why she has no drive to do anything. So far trapped in her inner, unconscious question: “If only I finally knew how to change people!”

… With the continuous experience of IT IS IN VAIN.

I immerse myself completely in her. Feel the truth in all that has awakened in her here and shows itself. I let myself be completely filled by it while I continue to feel it….
Something happens in her, changes. She is now me. I am her.

…
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I hereby let go, the others, the people. I let go of wanting to CHANGE the world and trying anything. I am letting go of this…

This is like a great multidimensional tightening of my system that is slowly showing itself through the beginning relaxation. I have been carrying this for many thousands of years and it has created a field that repelled others – because they felt unconsciously that I wanted to change them.

A sense of THREAT emerges.
If I don’t change them, people are a danger to me.
This is strong, a strong danger that threatens me in every person.

Then it changes to… they are ESSENTIAL to me.
An immense indifference – let them do what they want, I don’t care.

I FEEL THREATENED BY PEOPLE & THEY ARE INDIFFERENT TO ME.

I feel numbness, detachment. A very big stuckness at this point.

And yet, very subtle, also peace and joy.
But what do I do then?

Overwhelming freedom, when I am no longer responsible for the others.
No longer defining myself through the others.

Now it comes RAGE…
“You assholes, you are so stupid! That they just don’t see it, that the way of the heart (the RIGHT way of the heart!) is BETTER!”
A lot of arrogance. Great puke, contempt, rejection.
(This is a frequency, when lived out, in which it is easy to humiliate, despise, torture, discriminate, bully others. Experiences of “fun,” sarcastic with ease).

SUCH GREAT DISGUST ABOUT THE WORLD AS IT IS.
Such a SHOCKING POWER over the INABILITY OF HUMAN BEINGS TO REALLY CHANGE.
And the endless perpetuation of ALWAYS THE SAME SHIT.

And then in the deep depths, an endless SCREAM OF GREED resounds.
A cry so profound about being trapped in this HELL. And the scream is the desperate attempt of an expression for this endless horror. Here is access to all the insane excesses of human violence. In such a manifold form that it is unbearable to feel this without falling into absolute desperate pain.

Only the HEART can be with this, can survive this.

Here they are – the screaming masses. The infinite sea of abominations in the now and all times. Many slaves… above all victims of human violence. And on the horizon the sea of all animals, plants, nature, which suffer all so bitterly from humans.

I feel this inside me. And I am there. And I know that there is a way out.

In listening, a CORE emerges in all of this.
A glow with the frequency of the heart.
All this is so hard, so bad, because we FEEL in the innermost. Because we have a heart at our core that feels and can feel all of this. Because there is a place we know that is LOVE. And the difference of horror to this love is what hurts so unbearably – because we KNOW, carry within us as truth, how it actually IS. That we actually are love.

And it takes all the courage to let ourselves fall into this love, because that involves feeling the deepest pain.
Only at the end of the rat hole the sky opens.

And then there is a falling… like the sands of an hourglass….
A falling into love, into another reality.

The whole system in disarray. In the body, in the mind, in the emotional levels, all the experiences of endless loops of separation and horror and the desperate clinging to a seemingly shining reality – but which is only an illusion, in which we had nested, sucked in like ticks in the skin, just to avoid falling into the abyss of horror. Always in the panic of losing the ground under our feet.

This is where all the structures emerge that don’t want to let go because they simply CANNOT imagine that there could be another reality.

This is the great threshold where any illusion must die in order to be able to fall into it. And where even this are only words that try to describe something that is indescribable.

FALLING.

The life that falls apart.

At the deepest core is love – and this is which pulls. Into which we fall, surrender, into which we die and everything leaves that was there before. Our own entanglement in the world of separation, and the illusion of false loves and false cares.
It goes. Everything. Everything goes.

ADIEU.

And we don’t know who we are then.

And that is… the final CHOICE of LOVE.

We can only get there with a true and deep decision to love. Without this we are lost and without this the way does not open. When there is no trust that leads through all the horror.

And in each individual lies the ability and the responsibility to make this decision and to follow it unconditionally.
In itself, this is very simple, simple. And yet of infinite complexity and power.

This is the reason why we cannot change the world, the people – because the true point of change lies WITHIN EACH INDIVIDUAL.
In the last instance, only the individual can free himself from the clutches of separation.
And (!) – every individual carries with his internal decision responsibility for the whole.
For all people and all life.

To love in this way, to trust love, to surrender to love and be led through the abysses – is a choice.

Is my choice.

Is your choice?

Is the choice possible for all of us.